One thing we can all be certain of is that life changes. In a healthy state we encourage, thrive and welcome change. We love the thrill of pleasurable preparations, which lead to monumental events that happily stay in our memory banks forever. Unfortunately, we also have to accept that with all the pleasure and excitement there is a certain amount of stress that can become extremely destructive if left unchecked. Here are some tips to help you stay in control of your stress every step of the way.
Step 1 - Preparation
Whether it is a wedding, exam or starting a new job there will always be things to sort out and jobs to do if you want to get the best result:
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Don't go into denial - problems and compromises are going to occur so face them early on to avoid them spiraling into uncontrollable stress.
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Be realistic - we all want the perfect result but life is less than ideal, so stop dreaming and consider the best option under your less than perfect circumstances.
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Look after your health - the stress response is a high energy user, so don't neglect your diet, well-being and fitness.
Step 2 - The Big Day
Anything out of the ordinary like going on holiday or moving house is going to generate nervous tension so it is all too easy to let stress spoil the moment:
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Keep focused - The thought of what needs to be done is often more scary than actually doing it, so stick to your plan and avoid dwelling on what could go wrong. Read our articles on managing obsessive thinking and controlling your fears.
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Enjoy yourself - allocate as many boring tasks to friends and family as you can so that you can have time to experience the pleasurable aspects of your big event.
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Use flower essences such as Rescue Remedy to help you stay focused and in control. In addition, you can try a variety of Bach Original Flower Remedies to help you manage your emotions as the big day approaches. (Always read the label.)
Step 3 - When it's all over
Even when it is over, there will still be a period of discussion or waiting for results and this can make it hard to switch off even if you are exhausted:
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Relax - easy to say, difficult to do, but your body will need to rest and restore itself.
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Focus on the positive - often we only remember the odd few problems so run through the whole thing again and look at what went well and what you enjoyed - there will be many more positive instances than negative ones!
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Learn from your experience - even if the event was not that great you can still get a great deal from it. Read our article on learning from past mistakes.
Unfortunately there are times when life changes are sudden, unplanned or unwelcome. A bereavement, accident or relationship problems, for example, can be devastating and extremely stressful. Help is at hand:
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Make a memory box - it is important we hang onto happy memories but having them in full view all day, every day, can make it harder to move on.
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Don't become isolated - it can be hard to face people but accept that you do need help and there are a lot of help out there, so don't be afraid to reach out. Read our article on dealing with loneliness for tips.
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Write things down - if you put everything down on paper, it helps you to keep your mind clear of overwhelming stress. The grieving process relates to all bad events not just the death of someone close. Working through that process will help you keep a healthier perspective on your life as it is and where you can take it in the future. (Read our articles on grief and shock.)
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