Handling self-denial & pushing yourself too hard

• Do you push yourself too hard?

• Natural remedies

• Other ways to help

Setting high standards for yourself can be a great way to ensure that you make the most of your talents and don’t waste either time or opportunities. However, there is a fine line between meeting your high standards and pushing yourself too hard.

People who push themselves too hard self-dominate to the point of self-martyrdom. Their thinking is ruled by fixed ideas and dogma regarding subjects such as religion, diet, morality and politics. They like to set an example to others because they seek self-perfection. Sadly, they are never satisfied with their own achievements and feel really disappointed with themselves if they do not meet their own high ideals.

Do you push yourself too hard?

If you answer “yes” to three or more of the below, then you may be pushing yourself too hard:

• Do you set yourself impossibly high standards?

• Do you exercise more than 5 times a week or for more than two hours a day?

• Do you stick to rigorously to diets?

• Have you banned more than one food group from your diet?

• Do you frequently work overtime and take on extra duties at work?

• Do you go above and beyond the call of duty for your job, family or friends?

• Do you fear change in your routine?

• Do you dislike your way of life being challenged?

• If you have children, do you tend to push them into doing things you would like to be more successful at?

Natural remedies

• Bach Flower Remedies can help:

  • Rock Water can help people hold high ideals, but also maintain a flexible mind. It can also help people who push themselves too much understand that inner harmony is more powerful than enforced behaviours and routines.

  • Vervain can help if you feel like your over-enthusiasm borders on fanaticism and could use help in being wise, tolerant and able to relax.

  • Rescue Remedy if you find the stresses of daily life are becoming too much for you. (Always read the label.)

• Acupuncture can be an effective treatment for stress and worry associated with pushing yourself too hard.

• Reiki is said to be effective in helping you deal with your issues of self-denial.

• The Alexander Technique could be beneficial in managing your emotions in a healthier way.

• Body balance work such as yoga and shaitsu can help your body and mind connect in a way that promotes general happiness and a sense of wellbeing. If you can relax more, you’ll be less likely to push yourself too hard.

• Meditation can help you learn to relax and focus on your true wants and needs, rather than on strict routines and self-denial behaviours.

Other ways to help

• Learn the difference between self-discipline and self-denial. Look to your emotions for guidance. Self-discipline feels good and allows for the occasional slip up, whereas self-denial is a constant battle that never lets you take a break. Listen to your emotions and your body. If your exercise routine or study schedule is so tough that it is causing you unnecessary worry and unhappiness, you have a problem.

• Learn how to relax properly (see suggestions above) or just sit around for half an hour and try to do nothing!

• Do something completely for the fun of it, without regard to how much time it takes.

• Live in the present. Walk aimlessly and notice what is going on around you, without thinking about what else you "should" be doing or where you "should" be.