In today’s fast paced world, time is a very precious commodity yet people often make their schedule unnecessarily busy and as a result, their lives much harder because they find it hard to say no.
In fact, some people frequently allow themselves to be taken advantage of because they can’t say no when other people request some of their time. These people are usually timid, quiet and passive and tend to be very thoughtful of the needs of others. Anxious to please, they give in to others out of subservience rather than willing co-operation. Although dissatisfied with their situation, they will deny their own wishes rather than risk a confrontation. Because they are anxious to do the right thing, they are easily influenced by what other people dictate.
Easily drained by others and out of touch with their own assertiveness, they tend to lack energy and tire easily. Often, they see themselves as victims but find it hard to stand up for their own wants and needs.
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Bach Original Flower Remedies such as Centaury will help you express and defend your own wants and needs and not feel pressured to say no. (Always read the label.)
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Say no, with no excuses. Say no cheerfully, with apologies but no excuses. Try this: "I'm so sorry, I can’t help you this time; I hope you find someone else." Then leave it at that. The more you excuse and defend yourself, the more likely you are to back down under pressure.
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Saying no to your boss. This is the one exceptionto the “no excuses” rule. If your boss is asking to add another project to your hectic workload, simply remind them of the projects you are currently working on and say that you want to do them all justice but are concerned that if you take on something else you might be spreading yourself too thin. This puts the pressure on them to prioritize your workload for you.
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If unsure, play for time. If you don’t know whether you can or indeed, want to help someone, simply say “I have a few things going on right now, can I get back to you later when I’ve had a chance to think about it?”.
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Remember, your time is precious. There are only so many hours in the day and you must prioritize your own wants and needs first. Any commitments you make to others take away from your own personal time, so just because you can squeeze something extra into your day, doesn’t mean that you are obligated to do it.
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If pressured for an answer, it is easier to say no and then change your mind later than it is the other way around. However, if you do consider changing your no to a yes, make sure you are doing so out of choice, not out of guilt.
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Saying no is an art. Start practicing it and you’ll find it will get easier over time. You’ll also find that other people will stop making unreasonable demands on you because they will come to understand that you are no longer a push over. Enjoy your free time!
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