Indecisiveness & not trusting your own judgment

• Being indecisive

• Not trusting your own judgment

• Ways to help

Being indecisive

Being indecisive can be maddening for both the indecisive individual and for the people they associate with who are looking to them for an answer! Indecisive people can obsess about big things, such as buying a house or car, but more often than not, they worry about smaller things such as whether or not they should colour their hair.

The problem with being indecisive about the smaller things is the amount of time it wastes and the amount of unnecessary worry it causes. However, the problem with being indecisive about the bigger things is that often, the window of opportunity to make a decision is limited and so if someone can’t make a decision for themselves, other people or changing circumstances make the decision for them. For example, you might procrastinate about applying for a promotion and find you’ve procrastinated so long that the deadline for submission has passed. Or, if someone offers you a free ticket to see a show you might take so long in deciding that someone else steps in and has taken your place. Basically, being indecisive can mean that you miss out on a lot of good opportunities.

Unfortunately, indecisive people don’t just stop worrying about their decision after they have made it. Instead, they worry that they made the wrong decision!

Not trusting your own judgment

Some people actually know what they want, but simply don’t trust their own judgment enough to follow their intuition. They continually ask other people for advice and confirmation, misguidedly following someone else’s advice rather than following their own inner wisdom.

Are you indecisive?

• Do you find it difficult to make decisions?

• Do you find it hard to do something out of the norm?

• Do you feel that you sometimes lack poise and balance?

• Do you find that your mind jumps about when you are talking to people?

• Do you experience extreme mood swings?

• Have you been accused of being unreliable?

• Do you feel like you waste time?

• Have you missed out on opportunities due to indecision?

Do you mistrust your own judgment?

• Do you continually ask others for advice?

• Do you often regret following someone else’s advice?

• When you are ill, do you often try a succession of remedies recommended by someone else?

• Do you make a decision and then ask others if you are doing the right thing?

Ways to help

• Bach Original Flower Remedies such as Scleranthus can help people maintain poise and balance in all circumstances so that they can make decisions quickly and act promptly. Cerato can help you with trusting your own judgment. (Always read the label.)

• Research. Do some research so you know as many of the facts of the situation as possible.

• Ask for opinions. If appropriate, ask your friends and/or family for their opinion – but remember to trust your own judgment first and foremost. Never ask for someone’s opinion after you have decided on your course of action as this will confuse you.

• List the pros and cons of each decision. To get yourself out of your head, write them down so you have it in black and white.

• Identify your options. Note how they make you feel and cross out ones that make you feel bad.

• Choose the option that feels right. From your short-list of options, choose the one that makes you feel best.

• Form a backup plan. Once you have settled on your decision, think of the worst possible outcome of making that decision. Make a contingency plan that you can use if the worst case scenario comes about.

• Leave it alone. Once you have made your decision, don’t waste time questioning whether you made the right one. You weighed all the options and did your best to make the right decision.